Friends and Kin:
Since I have been looking back at my experiences things keep popping up that I want to share. Some are funny, some poignant, some sad, some just plain horrible, but on balance life has been pretty damn good. I could tell about Sammy Bates keeping an egg in the inkpot hole on his desk for almost a year in Miss Ruby Bogan’s Civics Classroom, and the day when someone bumped the desk and it rolled onto the floor and broke, and how fast the room emptied. Now that was a classroom evacuation that was instant. Or the time that Billy Ray hid the coon under a wastebasket in Mr. Snead’s math class. Or my experience with dogs when I walked door to door when I ran for City Council in 1971, or when I sold Bibles, Prayer Books and Missals door to door in New Orleans in 1954, not knowing anything whatsoever about them and not being a Catholic, or how my roommate in college, Robert Chabreck, won the Louisiana tobacco spitting contest. He was a Forestry major, and said the field of play was down hill and splatters counted.
I think I’ll tell about a military Court Martial I sat through, rather than tried, when I was a JAG officer at Fort Benning Fort Benning United States Infantry Army Center
Anyway, at the call up, these little units had members who, to avoid draft, many times joined a reserve unit for six months and managed to stay out of the heat, and they were as unsoldierly as any bunch of kids playing army. This bunch from New Jersey
I told them that they had the choice of selecting a local lawyer from Columbus
They chose a tall, portly old lawyer of about sixty, old to me then, I had never heard of. Every time I saw him, he was in his white linen suit that looked like he slept in, a pair of scuffed white shoes, string tie and a ratty white straw hat that he wore on top of a coiffure of wonderful wavy white hair. He spoke slowly, with the Georgia Georgia South Carolina Louisiana Georgia
I had no role in the trial, as he did all of the work, if you call it work, for he just listened to what our clients had to say, nodded, went tsk tsk tsk a lot, and shook his head at the injustice being inflicted on our young soldier boys. Seems as if Sosnik had been brought into the service without a physical and he had no thingy, having been deprived of it in some incident somewhere down the line, which probably would have disqualified him from the service right off, but seems as if New Jersey didn’t do physicals before shipping them off. It was a scary time. We thought the world was on the brink of nuclear war. The old lawyer did no preparation, and relied exclusively upon his elocution and oratorical skills, and opening and closing arguments. I watched in wonder.
The case was entirely circumstantial in nature, says our leaned counsel. “Suh-kum-stanshal, puahly and simply, suh-kum-stanshal.” Standing before the panel of scowling officers, consisting of a Bird Colonel in the middle, flanked by Lt. Colonels on his right and left, flanked in turn by majors and them by captains, he thundered forth his surprise at the huge mistake our grand and glorious United States Army could make in charging these two helpless boys with such heinous crimes. He then proceeded to distinguish the difference between circumstantial evidence and direct evidence, to show how the prosecutor and accusers of these poor boys had erred.
“Now, gentlemen of th’ jurah, it is high time that a basic in our law is made puhfeckly cleah. Inasmuch as ouah two boys heah are accused of these appalling chahges, it is incumbent upon youh honahs to know th’ diffahrence between suh-kum-stanshal evidence and Deyereck evidence. Keepin’ in mind that theah is nuhthin’ heah in this case but weak weak weak suh-kum-stanshal evidence that you have to considah, you should know just what that is. Nobody saw these boys doin’ anythin’ irregulah. The so called herb within the cigarette paper they had with them has nevah been tested for its contents theahfoah there is no direct evidence it is a prohibited substance.
Now ah’m gonna tell you the propah diffahrence between the two legal concepts. Now, when you see tracks leadin’ up to a gophah hole, that is suh-kum-stanshal evidence that the gophah is in the hole. Howevah, when you see the gophah stick his head out from the hole, that, yoah honah’s, is DIRECT evidence the gophah is in the hole. Heah, theah is no evidence of any gophah bein’ in any hole except suppahsition by the prosahcutahs that they ah tryin’ to make you believe! If he has a gophah in any hole, he should bring forth his gophah. If not, rest assuahed, he has not met his buhden of proof that the gophah is indeed in that hole, which is nessuhsary to convict.”
Believe it or not, they found these turkeys innocent.
I would not have believed it.
So that’s the rant of today.